A couple of weeks ago, Debbie and I went on one of our date nights to the movies. We saw Amy Schumer’s “I Feel Pretty.” It’s pretty funny – and meaningful too. Amy plays a character named Renee who thinks she’s ugly, too fat, and totally unattractive. Although she is none of those things, she looks at herself through eyes of criticism and self-loathing. Her life appears to reflect that version of her reality. She doesn’t like her job in the dungeon of a warehouse, she doesn’t have a boyfriend, the whole works. 

Everything changes when she bumps her head. Suddenly and magically she turns into this gorgeous woman with a perfect figure, a beautiful face – and amazing self-love. She’s suddenly joyful and confident! She can accomplish anything – get the guy, land the dream job, compete in the bikini contest. 

The best part of the movie is that she only thinksher looks have changed. Although when she looks into the mirror she sees the transformed woman, everyone else sees the same Renee as before. But this doesn’t matter. Renee’s newfound confidence pays off. Spoiler alert: She does get the guy, land the dream job, and compete in the bikini contest. (I won’t tell you whether or not she wins the contest – you’ll have to see the movie to learn that tidbit!) 

She accomplishes all of these things looking exactly the same as she always has; the only thing that changed is how she views herself. I know this message sounds trite, but it’s so true to life.

When I saw the character strut her stuff, speak with confidence, and command the attention in the room, I thought of Debbie. If there had been cell phones back in the 80’s when we met, I bet I’d have a video or two of her being surrounded by a swarm of adorers – listening to her every word, laughing, and enjoying the joy she so automatically shared with everyone.

Just the other day, Debbie and I were at the Mall. She was feeling very depressed – a condition she deals with regularly. Out of the blue came a former student from her ESL (English as a Second Language) for Adults class. “Teacher! Teacher!,” shouted the former student joyfully! They chatted for quite some time. Debbie immediately transformed into a joyful, confident, charismatic woman. She found out how the former student was doing learning English, provided just-in-time encouragement, and heard about how inspiring she is as a teacher. 

Debbie is that accomplished woman. Large or small, depressed or feeling OK, she’s beautiful – absolutely beautiful, talented, capable, inspiring. When I see Debbie, I look through the eyes of love. When Debbie looks at herself through the eyes of love, she sees the same thing as I do.

I know that Debbie sees me through the eyes of love also. Sometimes I get so angry at myself. I lose things constantly, talk entirely too much, don’t get to the club enough, act over-the-top, and – yes – even bemoan the fact that my six pack seems to be covered with more and more layers of padding each year. 

But it doesn’t matter. Debbie sees me as beautiful. Because I am. So is she.