Fathers Group

Meet-Up Group
https://www.meetup.com/FathersGroup/

This is a local group of guys that started probably 30 years ago. They meet in person monthly to share their experiences being gay dads. Although I found that only a few guys are or intend to stay in their marriages, there have been a few of them who, throughout the years, are still with their wives. Although this group is local to the Twin Cities area, I imagine there are similar groups elsewhere as well. 

Husbands Out to their Wives

Email Group
how-request@groups.queernet.org

“HOW is an international on-line support group for gay and bisexual men who are married to women and are out to (or working toward coming out to) their wives. HOW members help each other as they redefine their relationships with their spouses, family members, friends, colleagues, even as they may be learning to understand their own real selves.”

Although I found that many of the men in this group ultimately decide to divorce, I also found that their shared experiences are very authentic and compassionate.  The group communicates through emails that come directly to each participant’s chosen email address.

Making Mixed Orientation Marriages Work

Yahoo Group
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/MMOMW/info

This is an on-line group where people can post questions, insights, challenges, and the like as they work toward making their mixed orientation marriages work.

What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality

Book by Daniel A. Helminiak, Ph.D
Available on Amazon

I read and am inspired by the Bible every day.  I believe that the Bible wasn’t literally written by God.  Rather, it was written by many humans who were inspired by God, at many specific points in time, using abundant allegory, and translated multiple times and in multiple languages.  Sadly, the Bible “has been used to justify slavery, inquisitions, apartheid and the subjugation of women.”  This book helps to explain how homosexuality is and isn’t identified and portrayed in the Bible, and helps the reader put it into a context that allows gay people to embrace their being loved by God for who they truly were meant to be. 

A New Model:  What Confidence, Beauty and Power Really Look Like

Book by Ashley Graham

This book tells the story of the life and career of Ashley Graham, the first plus-sized model to be featured on the cover and in the pages of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.  What she goes through while growing up and, especially, while pursuing a career (in modeling, no less!) are things that many larger people can relate to. What I was particularly drawn to is the correlation she made between being bigger and being perceived as lewdly sexual.

Readers might enjoy and find insight by reading this book by a young, modern woman who, while being considered extremely beautiful, is also shamed because of her weight.

Why We Get Fat: And What To Do About It

Book by Gary Taubes

Mr. Taubes wrote this book in response to many readers of Good Calories, Bad Calories who “have asked me to write another book, one that their husbands or wives, their aging parents, or their friends and siblings can read without difficulty … a book that doesn’t require such an investment of time and effort.”  It has the same brilliant content of his prior book without being “dense with science and historical context, and densely annotated.”

Good Calories, Bad Calories: Challenging the Conventional Wisdom on Diet, Weight Control, and Disease

Book by Gary Taubes

For most of my life I have been taught that dietary fat is bad, that eating a lot of those carbs listed at the bottom of the Food Pyramid is good, and that losing weight is simply a matter of calories in/calories out.  Gary Taubes, wondering why, if this is true, we have an obesity epidemic that is getting worse, finally questioned this hard-held status quo.  His book is full of documented evidence, studies, and arguments illuminating the fallacies of the commonly held understanding of weight gain and weight control in our country.  According to him, “almost everything we believe about the nature of a healthy diet is wrong.” 

“My Big Fat Fabulous Life”

Reality T.V. series starring Whitney Thorne, founder of the No Body Shame campaign.

I am inspired by this woman who refuses to allow her size to keep her from doing what she wants to do in life.  She works out, skis, dances, and even does a belly dance routine in a public restaurant!  Sure, she has some haters, but she keeps going.  She is the primary reason I bought a bikini last year and rocked it on vacation!  It felt amazing, and I was so proud of myself!

Although the show contains some drama (it is, after all, a reality show), the positive message of being who you are is powerful!
 

The Four Agreements

Book by don Miguel Ruiz
Available on Amazon

While so many other self-actualizing or self-help books can boast up to 12 things one should remember or do, this work distills its sage advice down to four simple (not always easy) concepts that we have found help us to experience more peace and joy, and less unnecessary drama in our lives.  The author is a nagual (or shaman) from Mexico who shares the wisdom of his Totec tradition.  This work speaks to people of any - or even no - faith background.

Living a Life of Awareness

BOOK BY DON MIGUEL RUIZ jr.
AVAILABLE ON AMAZON

This book of daily meditations beautifully supports the concepts described in The Four Agreements and the Companion Book.  It helps us to practice those agreements in inspirational and practical ways.

The Four Agreements Companion Book

Book by don Miquel Ruiz with Janet Mills
Available on Amazon

Building upon the work of The Four Agreements this book provides wonderful examples of ways to “recover the awareness and wisdom of your authentic self.”  It introduces the concept of how we quickly become “domesticated” in this life, whereby we “form an image of perfection in order to try to be good enough.  We create an image of how we should be in order to be accepted by everybody” even when our authentic self doesn’t truly fit this image.  This concept nicely describes the core meaning of our foundation to “love yourself – as is.”